I got an email from a very dear friend of mine last night to notify me that her mother had died the previous Saturday evening. I met Mary in October of 1981 and have somehow stayed in touch with her through all the garbage I’ve gone through in the last 25 years. From the moment we met it was like we were family. We’d hang out after work with other coworkers and developed a very close friendship.
I remember the very first time I met Mary’s mother. Funny, now that I think of it, I don’t even remember her first name. I always called her Mrs. Campbell. I was invited over to Mary’s parent’s house and while there was introduced to both parents. When introduced to Mrs. Campbell I was informed that she had just had oral surgery and as she greeted me I noticed that she had no teeth. Actually, I’m not sure if she had none at all, but she was missing quite a few. She was so uninhibited about it that we all started laughing. It was the beginning of a feeling of family and friendship with an entire family that, even though I haven’t seen a number of them in over a decade, I know I’d still be as welcome as if I lived next door. Every time I would see either of Mary’s parents they would treat me as if we’d known each other forever. The warmth generated by these people should be the standard by which love for others is measured.
Once, when I was meeting either Mary or her brother Tom at their parent’s condo, as I was walking through the parking lot I saw Mr. Campbell. Again, I do not remember his first name; we always called him the Colonel. I yelled out a greeting to him and as he turned around he asked who it was. I said my name and his response was “My Kevin?” Like I was one of his children. I had to be about 26 at the time and I’ll tell you, I felt like one of his. Bottom line, these were good people and raised good kids.
I worked with Mary’s brother Tom for a number of years and we always had a good time and would go out after work. We would often go to Tijuana to bet on sports and horses. My roommate at the time was their cousin Brian and any type of family event for the Campbell’s would include an invitation to both of us. Out of the other siblings I also had a friendship with two of her sisters, Jane and Stacey. Again, though I haven’t seen some of these people in over ten years, I still think of them often and always hope to be in touch with them again.
I, thankfully, have not had to deal with the loss of a parent. I’ve had a few friends that have, along with my ex wife, and I always wonder how they deal with it. I think when things like this happen to us we all feel a little older. It’s like we’re not the kids anymore. It’s one more thing that chips away at that child inside I’ve written about before. Though I haven’t seen Mrs. Campbell in a number of years I know I feel a little older after getting the news of her passing. I also know that she would hope that we do everything we can to relight that fire that is that kid and never lose sight of the fact the she loved us all. So I say to all the Campbell children, and especially the Colonel, My thoughts are with you. I love you all and may this pain pass quickly. Trust me on this, I know I’m not the only one that has had similar experiences with your family and those that were fortunate enough to know her and all of you feel the same.
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