First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.
I’m always one to engage in good debate. I can argue any side and sound like I know what I’m talking about. It’s something I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember. I’ve been accused of picking a side just to start an argument and it’s probably a valid criticism. I really don’t care so much about the end result, I just find that something usually comes out in these verbal tussles that interests me and I’ll go home and start to read about it. I can’t think of a time when I was truly stumped and was incapable of coming up with a valid response to something someone has said during these debates. Well, that is, until last night.
I was at a friends’ house with a number of others and the conversation turned to the Mosque being built near where the 9/11 attacks took place. Like I said, I enjoy a good argument so I thought we could really have some fun here. One of the guys there, someone I’ve known and has been a friend for almost 40 years, joined in and said he felt that all Muslims should be thrown out of the country. I was aghast. I wanted to make sure I heard him correctly and asked him a question that would help me clarify what I had just heard. Again, he stated that every Muslim in the country should be kicked out.
I was in shock. Here was someone I’ve known since I was a little kid saying things that I thought only those bigots you see on those documentaries said. I asked, if this was allowed what would stop a movement to kick all Jewish people out of the country and his response was that it would never happen. When I asked why he said that Muslims were different. Here’s the thing that really threw me: He was as serious as serious could be. I tried to explain that I thought it was a real dangerous and slippery slope to be on when we start picking which group or religion to legislate for or against but it was quite apparent that it was a useless argument from that point on.
I sit in confusion about the things I heard last night. I’m not sure how I’ll react when I see him again. I mean, we didn’t fight or argue the rest of the night away but I know it’ll be odd. I guess I’m naive in thinking that the people I grew up with would at least have their thoughts to be somewhat near mine. I don’t expect everyone to have my political beliefs but to me, this thinking is so archaic that it defies logic. I think I’m feeling a little hurt by my friends’ thoughts. I can’t see a common ground to meet him on in this yet I don’t see myself eliminating him from my life. It’s a little confusing.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
I Just Can't Let It Go
I took one of those little tours of my old hometown the other day. Drove by the old haunts, the park, the Teen Center, old schools and neighborhood. I probably shouldn’t have cuz I woke up in a little bit of a down mood and that, to me, is never a good time to revisit the past. Whenever I’m in this kind of mood and do this my head takes me through all those regrets I’m sure we all have at certain points but seem to be a regular visitor in my mind.
I drive by my old schools and can’t help but get down about how hard I tried not to try. See the old baseball fields I used to play on and can’t help but remember quitting simply because it became an effort that I wasn’t willing to give. I could go on and on about those times and places where I see a point where a simple change of a decision could have made drastic changes to where I am today. I know, we all have these regrets and I’m not alone. I just happen to be the kind of guy that thinks about these things more than most and it obviously doesn’t do me any good.
It was raining, and being the self-loathing idiot that I am, I took a walk around the park, leaving my umbrella in the car. Here’s a place that I, along with so many others, spent most of my teen years. Everything I saw and everyplace I went would take me to a memory of my youth along with questions of why I did what I did in each instance. Why didn’t I stay with everyone when they all decided to do this or that? Why’d I go home when everyone else wanted to hang out at the Bonfire? Analyzing each step I took reminded me of Shrink and I talking on numerous occasions. She’d always say. “It must be so exhausting just being you.” and she’s right.
Of course I had my IPOD and it was just running through a random set of songs. It’s funny how, and I’ve mentioned it before, songs sometimes just appear at the very moment they make the most sense. “Heart Of The Matter” started playing and it came to the verse:
"There are people in your life
who’ve come and gone.
They let you down.
You know, they hurt your pride.
You better put it all behind you babe,
cuz life goes on.
You keep carrying that anger
It’ll eat you up inside.”
That person whose come and gone more times than I could ever count is me. I find it so hard to put it all behind me and move on, always have. I try though. I swear I do. Shrink’s right, it really is exhausting.
The song itself is about forgiveness. In this case it’s me that needs to forgive myself and that’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I drive by my old schools and can’t help but get down about how hard I tried not to try. See the old baseball fields I used to play on and can’t help but remember quitting simply because it became an effort that I wasn’t willing to give. I could go on and on about those times and places where I see a point where a simple change of a decision could have made drastic changes to where I am today. I know, we all have these regrets and I’m not alone. I just happen to be the kind of guy that thinks about these things more than most and it obviously doesn’t do me any good.
It was raining, and being the self-loathing idiot that I am, I took a walk around the park, leaving my umbrella in the car. Here’s a place that I, along with so many others, spent most of my teen years. Everything I saw and everyplace I went would take me to a memory of my youth along with questions of why I did what I did in each instance. Why didn’t I stay with everyone when they all decided to do this or that? Why’d I go home when everyone else wanted to hang out at the Bonfire? Analyzing each step I took reminded me of Shrink and I talking on numerous occasions. She’d always say. “It must be so exhausting just being you.” and she’s right.
Of course I had my IPOD and it was just running through a random set of songs. It’s funny how, and I’ve mentioned it before, songs sometimes just appear at the very moment they make the most sense. “Heart Of The Matter” started playing and it came to the verse:
"There are people in your life
who’ve come and gone.
They let you down.
You know, they hurt your pride.
You better put it all behind you babe,
cuz life goes on.
You keep carrying that anger
It’ll eat you up inside.”
That person whose come and gone more times than I could ever count is me. I find it so hard to put it all behind me and move on, always have. I try though. I swear I do. Shrink’s right, it really is exhausting.
The song itself is about forgiveness. In this case it’s me that needs to forgive myself and that’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
It Just Doesn't Make Me Laugh
Ok, I have something to admit to. It’s something I’ve been hiding since 1980. Something that most certainly puts me in the minority of most people in my generation. Something that has, in the past, had people tell me how crazy I am and actually raise their voices about. I don’t find the movie, “Caddyshack” very funny. There, I’ve said it. Let the rock flinging begin, I can take it.
It’s really something what happens when I tell people this. I am barraged with a litany of lines from the movie. Each one is prefaced with, “what about when” and then some part of the movie is recounted for me. If I’m in a group of three or four people, this can last for a good 10 minutes. I take it like a man, nodding and giving the fake laugh we all give when we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings because they’re sounding like an idiot.
I probably know more lines from the movie than anyone just from people trying to convince me that it’s the funniest movie ever. I understand that you find it funny but the more you try to convince me, the more I’m going to find it a bore. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.
There, I’ve said it in public. I feel like I can breathe again. Like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel like screaming from the top of a mountain. “I don’t like Caddyshack” over and over again. Please don’t try to convince me that I’m wrong, it’s not gonna happen; you’d be wasting your time.
Man, that was tough. I think I need a nap
It’s really something what happens when I tell people this. I am barraged with a litany of lines from the movie. Each one is prefaced with, “what about when” and then some part of the movie is recounted for me. If I’m in a group of three or four people, this can last for a good 10 minutes. I take it like a man, nodding and giving the fake laugh we all give when we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings because they’re sounding like an idiot.
I probably know more lines from the movie than anyone just from people trying to convince me that it’s the funniest movie ever. I understand that you find it funny but the more you try to convince me, the more I’m going to find it a bore. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.
There, I’ve said it in public. I feel like I can breathe again. Like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel like screaming from the top of a mountain. “I don’t like Caddyshack” over and over again. Please don’t try to convince me that I’m wrong, it’s not gonna happen; you’d be wasting your time.
Man, that was tough. I think I need a nap
Friday, August 13, 2010
Rock Of The 80's
One of my favorite memories of my adult life happened in 1983 when I was driving home to San Diego from a weekend in Arizona. As I was coming out of the mountains into Southern California I picked up my first radio station in what seemed like hours. “91X, The Rock Of The Eighties.” Were the first words I heard from the DJ and he started a record that, though I never was a big fan of, changed my listening habits as it pertained to the style of music I paid attention to for at least the next 10 years.
There was something about this music that, though it was so different in many ways, brought my head back to those pop songs I loved so much from when I was a small child. Bands with names like “The Jam”, “The Clash” and “Squeeze” were putting out wonderful pop songs with great, meaningful lyrics that sounded so fresh and exciting. It was a far cry from what all my friends were listening to when I left Detroit just three short years earlier. I couldn’t imagine going to see “Haircut 100” or “The English Beat” with any of those guys yet, to everyone I was with in California, this was the only thing to see or hear.
I was out with a friend the other night and we were talking about the music of our youth. He was saying how much he liked this band or that band, each being one of those guitar rock bands we all listened to in High School. I told him I really had a hard time listening to that stuff. I found myself looking for bands from 10 years later in our lives to bring me that nostalgic feel he was talking about. We were talking about a number of those bands from the 70’s that were still touring and I said I really didn’t see myself going to very many of those shows. Show me a concert featuring any of the above-mentioned bands though and I’d be there in a heartbeat.
I play around on You Tube all the time, finding songs from these “New Wave” or “Punk” bands, as they were known back then. I still find the sounds fresh and exciting. Give me three minutes or so of that toe tapping stuff over swooning guitars any day. I sometimes wish I was born five years later than I was simply to be able to feel the excitement with my old friends when one of these bands come to town.
There was something about this music that, though it was so different in many ways, brought my head back to those pop songs I loved so much from when I was a small child. Bands with names like “The Jam”, “The Clash” and “Squeeze” were putting out wonderful pop songs with great, meaningful lyrics that sounded so fresh and exciting. It was a far cry from what all my friends were listening to when I left Detroit just three short years earlier. I couldn’t imagine going to see “Haircut 100” or “The English Beat” with any of those guys yet, to everyone I was with in California, this was the only thing to see or hear.
I was out with a friend the other night and we were talking about the music of our youth. He was saying how much he liked this band or that band, each being one of those guitar rock bands we all listened to in High School. I told him I really had a hard time listening to that stuff. I found myself looking for bands from 10 years later in our lives to bring me that nostalgic feel he was talking about. We were talking about a number of those bands from the 70’s that were still touring and I said I really didn’t see myself going to very many of those shows. Show me a concert featuring any of the above-mentioned bands though and I’d be there in a heartbeat.
I play around on You Tube all the time, finding songs from these “New Wave” or “Punk” bands, as they were known back then. I still find the sounds fresh and exciting. Give me three minutes or so of that toe tapping stuff over swooning guitars any day. I sometimes wish I was born five years later than I was simply to be able to feel the excitement with my old friends when one of these bands come to town.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Make Me Laugh
One of the great joys of my life has always been live comedy. One of the most exciting days of my life was when I turned 21 simply because it meant I could go to the Comedy Store in San Diego. I was a fanatic. I would go every Friday and Saturday night, usually to the late show because I found that since there was no real time limit, there were more possibilities of something happening that wasn’t planned. I was there when Howie Mandel took the crowd out of the place and led us in a walk to the local 7-11 store to get a pack of cigarettes. That couldn’t have happened at the early show.
I can safely say that if there was a stand up comedian that played in southern California in the 1980’s, I saw them. I’d often make the drive to L.A. and hit some comedy clubs up there and also make sure to hit a live show or two whenever I would go to Las Vegas. While living in Vegas in the mid eighties, I’d see at least one show a week. Even when moving cross-country, which I did four different times, I would find comedy clubs along the way throughout the country. I really enjoyed it. I almost became a student of the art. I would literally study how each comic differed from the next. Like I said, I was a fanatic.
After I got married, Shelly and I would see live comedy when we could. When we’d go to Las Vegas we’d seek out comedy shows instead of the normal Vegas shows that were prominent along the strip. We once saw Drew Cary long before he was famous and, to this day, he’s probably the funniest stand-up comic I’ve ever seen. I never liked his television show and haven’t liked anything I’ve seen him in since but I had to leave the room at one point simply because I couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard.
Something in the last few years has changed for me. I can’t seem to enjoy myself at these comedy gigs anymore and I think I’ve figured out why. I think this might be a case where the Internet isn’t making things better. I look up comedians on the web all the time; I find stuff that brings tears to my eyes from laughing so hard. I’ve found all kinds of new comics over the last few years and really enjoyed some of them. Until recently, I had Satellite radio in my car. There are a few stations devoted to stand-up comedy and I’d listen to them quite regularly. Again, I found a lot of stuff to laugh at. But then, as with most things, it’s worn itself out for me.
I was talking to Shelly, my ex wife, about it yesterday and she kinda understood what I meant. She told me that I was probably just burned out on it, could be. I went and saw John Pinette the other night. He’s one of the top-touring comedians out there today. There was a nice size crowd and everyone seemed to really get into it, everyone but me. I just didn’t find much of it funny and the basic reason for it is because I’ve heard it all before. There was nothing new or cutting edge because it’s all over the web and radio. You can’t see the same envelope pushed over the same ground and expect to be entertained each time. It’s too bad, really. I love to laugh; I find most things funny in some way. I’m just having a hard time laughing at those who are paid to make me do so.
I can safely say that if there was a stand up comedian that played in southern California in the 1980’s, I saw them. I’d often make the drive to L.A. and hit some comedy clubs up there and also make sure to hit a live show or two whenever I would go to Las Vegas. While living in Vegas in the mid eighties, I’d see at least one show a week. Even when moving cross-country, which I did four different times, I would find comedy clubs along the way throughout the country. I really enjoyed it. I almost became a student of the art. I would literally study how each comic differed from the next. Like I said, I was a fanatic.
After I got married, Shelly and I would see live comedy when we could. When we’d go to Las Vegas we’d seek out comedy shows instead of the normal Vegas shows that were prominent along the strip. We once saw Drew Cary long before he was famous and, to this day, he’s probably the funniest stand-up comic I’ve ever seen. I never liked his television show and haven’t liked anything I’ve seen him in since but I had to leave the room at one point simply because I couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard.
Something in the last few years has changed for me. I can’t seem to enjoy myself at these comedy gigs anymore and I think I’ve figured out why. I think this might be a case where the Internet isn’t making things better. I look up comedians on the web all the time; I find stuff that brings tears to my eyes from laughing so hard. I’ve found all kinds of new comics over the last few years and really enjoyed some of them. Until recently, I had Satellite radio in my car. There are a few stations devoted to stand-up comedy and I’d listen to them quite regularly. Again, I found a lot of stuff to laugh at. But then, as with most things, it’s worn itself out for me.
I was talking to Shelly, my ex wife, about it yesterday and she kinda understood what I meant. She told me that I was probably just burned out on it, could be. I went and saw John Pinette the other night. He’s one of the top-touring comedians out there today. There was a nice size crowd and everyone seemed to really get into it, everyone but me. I just didn’t find much of it funny and the basic reason for it is because I’ve heard it all before. There was nothing new or cutting edge because it’s all over the web and radio. You can’t see the same envelope pushed over the same ground and expect to be entertained each time. It’s too bad, really. I love to laugh; I find most things funny in some way. I’m just having a hard time laughing at those who are paid to make me do so.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Worlds Greatest Bar Band
Just got home from seeing The Beach Boys at a local outdoor venue. Well, calling them The Beach Boys is akin to calling Roger Daltry “The Who”. By that I mean there is only one original member of the band still around and even though he was an integral part, It still wasn’t like you were seeing the real thing. Don’t get me wrong, I had a real nice time, it’s just that it seemed almost like a cover band. These guys have a better excuse than most bands that go out with only one original member, of the three Wilson Brothers that helped start the band, two are dead and the third has little to do with the band anymore.
It struck me as odd that the concert started at 6 instead of the normal 7:30, all I could figure was that these guys are old and maybe they just couldn’t stay up too late. Either way, it was a good thing I saw the earlier time in the paper. So a friend and I went early enough to get a prime spot on the lawn and we were all set for a show of some of the most popular music in history.
They started just a couple minutes after six and started right up with a number of their early surf tunes. After running through a number of these tunes, lead singer Mike Love took a few minutes to talk to the crowd. He announced that they had just played eight songs and mentioned how large an amount of songs that was without a break. I looked at my watch and it still wasn’t 6:30, they hadn’t even played for 25 minutes. Of course they can play so many songs in such a short time, the average Beach Boy song, especially the early ones were barely over two minutes. I don’t know, it just seemed that Love wasn’t really comfortable talking to the audience. I don’t think he had anything preplanned to talk about and his adlib skills left a lot to be desired considering he’s been doing this for close to 50 years.
Don’t get me wrong; they played all the songs you expected them to play and then some. They hit my two faves, the ones that are on the playlist that is probably playing while you read this, God Only Knows and Don’t Worry Baby but I just didn’t feel any real connection with them. At the end of God Only Knows, Bruce Johnston dedicated the song to Carl Wilson. He being the original lead singer when the song came out a generation ago. That was the only mention of any of the Wilson Brothers and that left me cold. If you’ve read any of my previous posts you know what a fan I am of Brian Wilson and to not even get a mention just seemed wrong. He wrote and produced most every hit the band had and it was disappointing, to say the least.
The crowd didn’t seem to mind and I saw more beach balls in one place than I’d ever seen. It was like a beach party and I guess that’s what one expects at a Beach Boy concert. To me, I don’t know, they seemed almost like a cover band. A good cover band, but still, a cover band.
It struck me as odd that the concert started at 6 instead of the normal 7:30, all I could figure was that these guys are old and maybe they just couldn’t stay up too late. Either way, it was a good thing I saw the earlier time in the paper. So a friend and I went early enough to get a prime spot on the lawn and we were all set for a show of some of the most popular music in history.
They started just a couple minutes after six and started right up with a number of their early surf tunes. After running through a number of these tunes, lead singer Mike Love took a few minutes to talk to the crowd. He announced that they had just played eight songs and mentioned how large an amount of songs that was without a break. I looked at my watch and it still wasn’t 6:30, they hadn’t even played for 25 minutes. Of course they can play so many songs in such a short time, the average Beach Boy song, especially the early ones were barely over two minutes. I don’t know, it just seemed that Love wasn’t really comfortable talking to the audience. I don’t think he had anything preplanned to talk about and his adlib skills left a lot to be desired considering he’s been doing this for close to 50 years.
Don’t get me wrong; they played all the songs you expected them to play and then some. They hit my two faves, the ones that are on the playlist that is probably playing while you read this, God Only Knows and Don’t Worry Baby but I just didn’t feel any real connection with them. At the end of God Only Knows, Bruce Johnston dedicated the song to Carl Wilson. He being the original lead singer when the song came out a generation ago. That was the only mention of any of the Wilson Brothers and that left me cold. If you’ve read any of my previous posts you know what a fan I am of Brian Wilson and to not even get a mention just seemed wrong. He wrote and produced most every hit the band had and it was disappointing, to say the least.
The crowd didn’t seem to mind and I saw more beach balls in one place than I’d ever seen. It was like a beach party and I guess that’s what one expects at a Beach Boy concert. To me, I don’t know, they seemed almost like a cover band. A good cover band, but still, a cover band.
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