The Funkiest Band In The Land

Went to see the “J. Geils band” in downtown Detroit last night. I gotta tell ya, I was pretty impressed. Here’s a band that got together some 40 years ago as a funk/blues type band and only became nationwide headliners near the end of their careers. They were, however, always incredibly popular in the Detroit area while I was growing up there. They recorded three live albums, all in Detroit and consistently sold out any concert they played there. This kind of thing happened all the time in Detroit for bands from the area but these guys are from Boston. They just had that little something that the kids in the area could identify with. What was that? Music to dance to, music to sing along to and music that always, in it’s roots, paid homage to the Motown sound.

I went to the show with a number of friends I hadn’t seen in years and it turned out to be much more than a typical reunion kind of night. One of the friends, coming in from L.A. rented a limo for the show and another guy got ahold of someone at the MGM casino that we all grew up with and he arranged to get us dinner at the place comped. There were six of us in the limo and there was, of course, plenty of alcohol for those that wanted it. So we had a nice ride down with lots of laughs and remembered stories. It was truly a good time.

We got to the theater and our seats were right at the bar, which again, was great for those that wanted it. I plopped myself right at the front of the table and was along the safety guard that stops folks from falling down the step that was the main floor. We were right behind the mixers for the show and I noticed that one guy had the set list taped on the soundboard so I was able to see what songs were going to be played and in what order. It was pretty cool.
The concert was, to say the least, special. Not only for us, the fans, but for the band as well. They’ve technically not been together for a number of years and have come together for just a few shows. They had one in Boston a couple months ago, they’re having two here in Detroit and one more in Boston. Peter Wolf, the lead singer said they weren’t doing a tour, just a thank you to, as he put it, our two hometowns. Needless to say, it gave the crowd the warm and fuzzies.

They played all the songs we expected them to play and Wolf did his normal running and jumping all over the place along with his consistent rap that predates today’s hip hop stars by about 40 years. It was a great time. The thing I found most incredible about the whole thing is that this guy is 62 years old. Yeah, he didn’t do all the things he used to do on stage but, seeing him dance, no way is he that old. My biggest problem throughout the night was my inability to clap my hands. I’ve torn some stuff up in my wrist and it hurts like crazy when I try. I just stood there pounding the metal bar in front of me with my good hand and my thumb is a bit swollen from that. Well worth it though.

I saw a number of folks there that I knew and a few I only knew from Facebook, seeing them was still like seeing old friends, like I have known them all along. It’s a good feeling and one I truly enjoy.

So after the concert the gang wanted to go back to MGM but I had a long drive in front of me so I grabbed one of the folks I saw there and asked him to drive me to my car. I ended up getting home at a little after two in the morning but that’s ok. To the friends I went with, if you’re reading this, thanks and how cool was last night? I missed you guys, great to see ya. The same goes for the band. Great to see ya.

Why Do People Lie

So I’ve mentioned on more occasions than I can remember that I’ve found so many folks from my youth on this here computer. I’ve said how wonderful it has been and just don’t know how I ever got through life without them all in my life. Well, the other side of how my life has gone is the stories of theirs. To hear their stories and be allowed into their confidence is something I’m very proud of.

There is however, one subject that has come up a number of times that, well, I just don’t get. Let me preface this one with this: I’ve never been one to date or “play the field” or anything even close. I was married for almost 16 years and was completely faithful to my wife and she to me. And that very subject is what today’s lecture is all about.

So many of the women I’ve either had email, instant chat or personal conversations with have let me in on their pasts, and for that I’m grateful. A number of them have told me about their marriages, families and more. One thing that has come up far too many times is how infidelity ha infected their lives. I’m not talking about just the male doing the deed either. I used the word infected for a reason.

I look at the process of cheating in a relationship to be like a cancer in it. You know, once it starts it either spreads or just sits and festers into something that destroys more than the relationship but lives as well.

In any relationship there is a certain amount of trust. Once that trust is broken, I just don’t see how it can ever be repaired. I know I’m quite naïve about this kind of stuff but if I had found out that Shelly had cheated on me it would have simply destroyed me. I truly believe the same can be said if the shoe was on the other foot too.

That’s the part that I really don’t get. If you’re not happy in your situation, well, get out. Why cause the pain and humiliation to someone that at some point you cared very deeply about? Granted, I’ve never even been close to having the opportunity to do something like this but I just don’t see how it’s possible to look your partner in the eye after violating one of the most sacred trusts there could be.

I’d really like some input on this from you guys. If you’ve either been the victim, or the one who strayed. You don’t have to leave your name, just post to the blog anonymously. If you send me a note about it and I know who you are, I promise that your identity will never leave my head. It’s just something that has been in my head for ages and I’d really like to try to wrap my arms around it.

Thanks for indulging me once again.

They Are Family

A friend of mine’s cat died the other day. The cat was 16years old so it’s not like it was a major shock but my friend was, as most can understand, quite devastated by the loss of a very good friend. I get that.

I’ve never understood people who say they don’t like animals. I mean, I’m not saying everyone should have a dog or a cat but to me at least, the dogs I’ve had throughout my life have always been a part of my family. The dog that currently takes care of me has truly been a remarkable friend to me over the years. I’ve stated on numerous occasions how much Lucky has helped me stay on an even keel since I went out on my own again after my divorce.

Lucky adopted my family way back in 1999. We saw her at the Escondido animal shelter and were told that she was about a year and a half old and was already housebroken. We were looking at a few others and after spending some time deciding, we took Lucky home. I remember the first night we had her home. We had stopped at the store and got one of those big rawhide bones for her. It was a pretty large one as she’s a Siberian husky mix and was already full-grown. We gave it to her as soon as we got her in the house and she proceeded to lie on the floor and didn’t leave that spot until the entire thing was gone. She was obviously nervous and used the bone for comfort. The funny thing is, she’s never liked one since. She’s never really been a dog that liked toys.

They told us at the shelter that they called her Lucky because, like most Husky’s, she runs away when given the opportunity. We spent a week or two deciding if we were gonna keep the name when the decision was made for us. One night an electrical fire started at the shelter we got her from and a hundred or so animals were killed. It was just tragic. After the incident, Shelly and I found it quite easy to keep the name Lucky as it fit much too well.

I don’t think I’ve ever known a dog that has been so content with her life. Her only vice is to be loved. She adores all people, women more than men though. She’s also had to live with all kinds of animals, birds, a turtle, numerous cats and other dogs throughout the 10 plus years I’ve had her. Each time a new animal is introduced she just takes it in stride. No biggie, just love me kind of thing. She has run away a number of times but always comes home. While living in Florida she jumped into the lake behind the house and was just swimming around. No big deal but there are Alligators in the lakes down there. She got out before anything could happen but it brings up another of her loves.

Lucky is a huge fan of water. We lived in a house in California for a little over a year that had a built in pool. Lucky would go out back and just walk down the steps into the water till she was about neck deep. She’d proceed to just stand there for what seemed like hours. It was kind of a drag because it takes forever to dry her off. Her fur is like lambs wool under her topcoat.

When I got divorced. Like most cases, my wife got most everything and I got the dog. We packed up the car and traveled around the country for about a month before landing in Naples. She’s a great traveler. Just open the window when she asks and she’s fine. I actually love driving with her most of the time. Especially since the divorce I like to get lost in my thoughts when driving and she doesn’t talk too much and honestly never asks questions so she’s a great partner when it comes to the car.

She’s also really easy to have in hotels. I never have to worry about her messing things up. She doesn’t use the floor as a toilet and has never chewed up anything that she wasn’t supposed to. I like the easiness of life with her. She really is a great friend. I know it goes both ways too. She’s let me know when it’s getting too late to be downstairs and time to go to bed. She’ll start whining and pacing and if I stand up she walks to the stairs to head up to the bedroom. Funny, she rarely goes up unless I’m with her.

One more thing about Lucky. She doesn’t bark, never has. I mean she’ll whine and cry a bit but Maegan had to teach her to “speak” after we had her for a couple years and it’s still more of a whine than a bark. Once in a blue moon she’ll actually bark and it freaks everybody out simply because they’ve never heard that kind of noise come out of her. It’s nice to not have a dog barking every time someone comes to the door, it really is.

Lucky’s about 11 and a half years old now, old for a dog of her type and size, and I often think about how much longer he has. I don’t like thinking about it as it brings a pall around me that’s not very comfortable. I know that part of life is death but also know that I will be just as devastated when her time comes as my friend is with the loss of her cat. It breaks my heart to know that my friend is going through this and wish more than anything that I could do something to help her. Like I said at the top, I get that.

How Does That Work?

Last July I had the unfortunate occurrence of having two people I knew die. I posted stories of both and received a bit more attention for one over the other because most of the readers of the blog knew one of the folks that passed. To remind those that don’t remember, Ronnie was a guy that lived next door to me in Trenton until they moved to a neighboring city. I still saw him and his brother Buzzie (Brian) on a regular basis because they’re Grandmother lived next door to us.

Buzzie had major issues with alcohol throughout his adult life and disappeared from his family’s lives for the past 10 to 15 years. When I say disappeared I mean it in the most literal way imaginable. He just went away and never came back. The family thought they would spot him once in a while around town and once Ron even spoke to him and was told to go away and leave him alone. Well, Buzz’s mother got a call last month that Brian, his real name, had been admitted to a local hospital and his organs were shutting down. Marge, his mother, was able to get to the hospital in time to be by her son’s side as he died. This woman lost two sons in less than eight months. Imagine that.

I bring this up because something about it just amazes me. How and why would someone decide to literally eliminate their family from their lives? In this case I guess alcohol can be blamed but how could it have lasted so long? I can understand being upset with someone and not speaking to them but it’s your family. These are the people you’ve known longer than anyone in your life and I just don’t see how they could have been so terrible.

I understand there are instances where something terrible happens and people go nuts and things like that, but in general, how do you decide that this person you have grown up with is no longer worth having in your life? I was chatting online with someone I knew as a kid and asked about his family. He told me he really didn’t know about his brother because he had not spoken to him in over 10 years. I wanted to ask him about it but it really isn’t any of my business, seeing that I haven’t spoken to the guy in over 30 years, but how does that happen?

I was out with some friends last night down in Detroit and mentioned that I had been thinking about this subject. One of the guys stated that he could understand it if, for instance, someone in his family had been convicted of a felony. I found that kind of startling too. I mean, it seems to me that, even if you don’t understand what caused the problem, he or she is still your family and to show some kind of support would be the least you could do. You don’t have to agree with whatever they had done but jeez, I don’t know, maybe I’m just way off on this.

There has been numerous times in my life that I’ve wanted to just hide myself away and not talk to anyone. I can’t imagine it lasting for so long that I would lose complete contact with everyone, especially my family. I don’t know, I just don’t get it. I’d love to get some feedback on this whether you agree or not. It’s really been on my mind a lot lately.