Went to a concert last night that I think may be one of the most important concerts I’ve ever seen. That sounds strange, I know, but the more I think about it the more the statement seems to describe what I’m trying to say. I went to see Carole King and James Taylor and it was truly one of those “magical” evenings I spend so much of my time searching for.
Let me start by saying, I like James Taylor. I wouldn’t call myself a huge fan but I like him. I’ve never had an album but I don’t change the station if one if his songs comes on the radio. I, however, was there to see someone who could arguably be called the greatest female songwriter in history. I only say female because I believe there can be no argument against it. If I hadn’t qualified gender, well, some may have come up with names like Lennon, McCartney and possibly one or two others.
I don’t believe there is anyone, over the age of 18, that doesn’t know a Carole King song. Even if one has never heard the album “Tapestry”, she’s written so many others that it would really be hard to believe that someone doesn’t know at least one of them. “One Fine Day”, “The Loco-Motion” and “Go Away Little Girl” are but a few of the songs written by her and recorded by others. There are so many more that to list them would take up more space than I’ve got time to deal with right now.
Watching Carole King sing live last night was, to say the least, a very emotional experience. I put seeing her right up there with seeing McCartney back in 1990. I was seeing one of the giants of pop music and about that, there can be no question. Go to the Internet and punch up her catalogue. It’s ridiculous how much music she’s put into our heads over the years.
The show was very well put together as both artists played the entire evening with each other. They’d go back and forth singing their songs, each one a hit, and would compliment each other very well throughout. The highlight of the evening, for me, was when the two combined their contrasting versions of “Up On A Roof”. King’s being a much slower, emotional song to Taylor’s more pop, upbeat tune. It was truly magical and I could have just stayed in that moment for the rest of my life. They also did most of the Tapestry album and hearing “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” last night is also a memory I’ll hold in a special place, for a very long time.
I could say that for most of the evening too, I mean it. I don’t think I could name one song, sung by either of the two, that didn’t take me to a place in my mind that I visit far to infrequently. I can’t tell you how many times, throughout the evening, that I had to wipe a tear or two away at the sheer genius of this amazing American treasure. I still can’t believe what I did last night. I saw an amazing songwriter, sing some amazing songs that she created for each and every one of us. For this, I am unbelievably grateful. I will never forget what I saw and heard last night, not one single moment.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Simply In Awe
Not sure what’s made me feel the way I do today but I seem to be tearing up rather consistently. I’ve been thinking of some folks I know and the unbelievable strength they seem to show so effortlessly in the face of things I can’t even imagine. Today I sit in wonder at the incredible courage these people have shown.
A little over a year ago my oldest brother Steve was diagnosed with Liver cancer. I’ve never been so close to something like this happening to someone related to me and, obviously, it sent my world into quite the tizzy. I wrote a number of things about everything Steve went through and have noted the amazing strength and attitude he shared with the world during the entire ordeal. I sit in awe of what I saw in him throughout it all and am very thankful that he’s cancer free and he and his new Liver are doing wonderfully. I can’t help it; I get choked up every time I think about it.
Recently, while I was out in California, I wrote a story about my friend Mac who lost his wife in a terrible auto accident that he witnessed. I spent a few hours with him while there and, once again, stood in wonder at the strength he exhibited while talking to me. It’s truly a wonder to see and hear him have the ability to talk and kid around about anything and everything and not just fall apart. I sit in awe of him.
Even more recently than that is what my friend Ellen and her family are going through. I don’t know all the details but suffice it to say that after major invasive surgery, Ellen is now a two-time cancer survivor. This one is probably closer to me than either of the other two even though Steve is my Brother. I live near Ellen and see her on a regular basis. We have a semi regular dinner date with another friend on Thursday nights when we can get the time to get together.
When Steve got sick, Ellen, who I was just starting to know at the time, sent me a note that literally told me every emotion I would feel and in what order. She also let me know that those feelings I had were totally expected and to not be ashamed of them. I got a lot of strength from that note and a really great friendship has developed over the little more than a year that has passed since that time. Ellen is also partly responsible for getting me out of my house on a regular basis. I couldn’t count the number of notes passed or online chats we had while I was doing my little freak out at the thought of going out and socializing.
I’ve always had a hard time understanding how others could feel about me in ways that I can’t even feel about myself. I’ve written on numerous occasions about my lack of understanding how and why people seem to like me. Issues I’ve always had and am constantly working on. Ellen “got” that. She didn’t just laugh it off and tell me I was crazy to think that way. Ellen always let me know the how’s and the why’s of the things that people liked about me and never made me feel as if I was just along for the ride. I became an integral part of whatever group I was in and that never would have happened without my knowing this woman I’m in such awe of today.
So, today I sit in my chair thinking of these three people that have each had a major influence on my life and I somehow find a little lesson in it all. I’m not real sure how to articulate the lesson but it’s got something to do with the idea of seeing the strength in others and relating it to how they’ve affected your life. Three people that have, at one time or another, had an impact on me, mentors, if you will. It makes me proud to know that I’ve noticed something in these folks that made me want to be around them and then it’s almost like a payoff when I see how incredible they really are. Almost like I was right in wanting to be around them. Granted, Steve is my brother but we’re also friends and that’s not always the case with siblings.
So this feeling I’ve got today is not one of sadness. It’s more of a pride in knowing some people that I feel honored to have in my life. I just happen to cry a little when I’m really proud.
A little over a year ago my oldest brother Steve was diagnosed with Liver cancer. I’ve never been so close to something like this happening to someone related to me and, obviously, it sent my world into quite the tizzy. I wrote a number of things about everything Steve went through and have noted the amazing strength and attitude he shared with the world during the entire ordeal. I sit in awe of what I saw in him throughout it all and am very thankful that he’s cancer free and he and his new Liver are doing wonderfully. I can’t help it; I get choked up every time I think about it.
Recently, while I was out in California, I wrote a story about my friend Mac who lost his wife in a terrible auto accident that he witnessed. I spent a few hours with him while there and, once again, stood in wonder at the strength he exhibited while talking to me. It’s truly a wonder to see and hear him have the ability to talk and kid around about anything and everything and not just fall apart. I sit in awe of him.
Even more recently than that is what my friend Ellen and her family are going through. I don’t know all the details but suffice it to say that after major invasive surgery, Ellen is now a two-time cancer survivor. This one is probably closer to me than either of the other two even though Steve is my Brother. I live near Ellen and see her on a regular basis. We have a semi regular dinner date with another friend on Thursday nights when we can get the time to get together.
When Steve got sick, Ellen, who I was just starting to know at the time, sent me a note that literally told me every emotion I would feel and in what order. She also let me know that those feelings I had were totally expected and to not be ashamed of them. I got a lot of strength from that note and a really great friendship has developed over the little more than a year that has passed since that time. Ellen is also partly responsible for getting me out of my house on a regular basis. I couldn’t count the number of notes passed or online chats we had while I was doing my little freak out at the thought of going out and socializing.
I’ve always had a hard time understanding how others could feel about me in ways that I can’t even feel about myself. I’ve written on numerous occasions about my lack of understanding how and why people seem to like me. Issues I’ve always had and am constantly working on. Ellen “got” that. She didn’t just laugh it off and tell me I was crazy to think that way. Ellen always let me know the how’s and the why’s of the things that people liked about me and never made me feel as if I was just along for the ride. I became an integral part of whatever group I was in and that never would have happened without my knowing this woman I’m in such awe of today.
So, today I sit in my chair thinking of these three people that have each had a major influence on my life and I somehow find a little lesson in it all. I’m not real sure how to articulate the lesson but it’s got something to do with the idea of seeing the strength in others and relating it to how they’ve affected your life. Three people that have, at one time or another, had an impact on me, mentors, if you will. It makes me proud to know that I’ve noticed something in these folks that made me want to be around them and then it’s almost like a payoff when I see how incredible they really are. Almost like I was right in wanting to be around them. Granted, Steve is my brother but we’re also friends and that’s not always the case with siblings.
So this feeling I’ve got today is not one of sadness. It’s more of a pride in knowing some people that I feel honored to have in my life. I just happen to cry a little when I’m really proud.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Chai's Have It
Back in the mid eighties I was working at a store in Rancho Bernardo, just north of San Diego. There was a jewelry store in the plaza and I liked to go in and look around. I’ve never been one to wear rings or necklaces and I wanted to see if there was anything that caught my eye. I was looking at things like Star Of David’s or Chai’s as, being Jewish, a cross wouldn’t be so nice. Besides, my Hebrew name is Chaim.
There were a number of items that were very nice but the prices were much more than I could afford. I found one that was a little over $100.00 and, though it was not as nice as most, I decided it was the best I could do and bought it. I wore it under my shirt every day. At first it was really uncomfortable, I’d never worn a necklace before, but I got used to it. I actually started noticing when I didn’t have it on. It made me feel something, I don’t know, connected I guess. I’m not religious in any sense of the word, never have been, but I felt that sense of belonging that we all seem to crave at most points in our lives.
It’s a rather small, skinny, well, scrawny one. Kind of like the Jew I am, not too much, if you know what I mean. When folks would see it they would invariably think it was some kind of animal. Most thought it was a cow and I would have to explain to them what it was and it’s significance to me. I got real comfortable with it. I would take it off at night and put it on right out of the shower. It became almost something I depended on.
I got married and Shelly and I, along with the two kids we had at the time lived in an apartment. The kids were fascinated with the Chai and I would constantly have to tell them not to play with it when they would see it on the dresser at night. Well, one day I woke up and it was gone. Obviously one of the kids had been messing around with it and it was lost. There wasn’t a lot to say to the kids, they were very small at the time and after Shelly and I searched the apartment over and over again we just gave it up for lost. I was bummed but I figured life goes on. When we moved out of the apartment I thought that we might find it. Needless to say, we didn’t. I would think about the Chai once in a blue moon but it really didn’t bother me.
I came out here to California last Friday and am staying at Shelly’s house. Friday night she got up off the couch, went into her room and when she came out, she handed me the Chai. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I put it on and have worn it since I got here. I kept telling Shelly how I couldn’t believe she found it. She couldn’t remember where she found it but said she found it while unpacking here at her house that she bought when we split. This is the fourth place we had packed and unpacked since we left the apartment so the odds of her finding it were amazing. The more I think about it all the more grateful I am.
Anytime anyone has seen it, they still comment on how much it looks like a cow. I tell them the story of it and they understand how I feel about it but still laugh about it. Well, laugh all you want kids but this cows staying around my neck, right where it belongs.
There were a number of items that were very nice but the prices were much more than I could afford. I found one that was a little over $100.00 and, though it was not as nice as most, I decided it was the best I could do and bought it. I wore it under my shirt every day. At first it was really uncomfortable, I’d never worn a necklace before, but I got used to it. I actually started noticing when I didn’t have it on. It made me feel something, I don’t know, connected I guess. I’m not religious in any sense of the word, never have been, but I felt that sense of belonging that we all seem to crave at most points in our lives.
It’s a rather small, skinny, well, scrawny one. Kind of like the Jew I am, not too much, if you know what I mean. When folks would see it they would invariably think it was some kind of animal. Most thought it was a cow and I would have to explain to them what it was and it’s significance to me. I got real comfortable with it. I would take it off at night and put it on right out of the shower. It became almost something I depended on.
I got married and Shelly and I, along with the two kids we had at the time lived in an apartment. The kids were fascinated with the Chai and I would constantly have to tell them not to play with it when they would see it on the dresser at night. Well, one day I woke up and it was gone. Obviously one of the kids had been messing around with it and it was lost. There wasn’t a lot to say to the kids, they were very small at the time and after Shelly and I searched the apartment over and over again we just gave it up for lost. I was bummed but I figured life goes on. When we moved out of the apartment I thought that we might find it. Needless to say, we didn’t. I would think about the Chai once in a blue moon but it really didn’t bother me.
I came out here to California last Friday and am staying at Shelly’s house. Friday night she got up off the couch, went into her room and when she came out, she handed me the Chai. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I put it on and have worn it since I got here. I kept telling Shelly how I couldn’t believe she found it. She couldn’t remember where she found it but said she found it while unpacking here at her house that she bought when we split. This is the fourth place we had packed and unpacked since we left the apartment so the odds of her finding it were amazing. The more I think about it all the more grateful I am.
Anytime anyone has seen it, they still comment on how much it looks like a cow. I tell them the story of it and they understand how I feel about it but still laugh about it. Well, laugh all you want kids but this cows staying around my neck, right where it belongs.
Monday, May 10, 2010
We Move On
I was in a Management program with the grocery company I used to work for out here in California about 10 years ago. When the program started I was matched up with a guy I had never met. Once I found out his name I checked around to see if anyone I knew also knew him. The response was unanimous; “you guys are a perfect match,” I was told. “You two will really hit it off” was another common response. Unreal how right everyone was.
Mac is a little more than nine years younger than I and is a much bigger guy. He could easily squash me with his index finger. The thing that made people think we’d get along was the way we talked and joked. Within a few hours of meeting him, we were literally crying from laughing so hard at the things we both found funny within the program we had just started. We would make fun of anything; ourselves included and just plain have a great time. It was always a chore going out to lunch with him because it would take so long for us to eat, as we would be laughing throughout. There was a time we were at lunch, spending an inordinate amount of time eating a simple meal, that as we got up to leave we were asked if we were professional comedians. This wasn’t uncommon. We had a lot of fun. There was a time when Mac had to send an email to Shelly, my ex, about some question we had. He simply signed it Kevin’s other life partner”. Like I said, we had a lot of fun.
Well, life went on, I left California, and Mac was managing whatever store the company would place him in while raising his three kids along with his wife.
Shelly called me a few days before I came out here and told me a story that none of us could possibly imagine. Mac was following his wife home last August 30’Th. Corinna had his daughter in her car and Mac had his son. As Mac was driving, he stood witness to his wife’s car being hit and pushed down into a ditch. Mac’s daughter ended up with a broken arm but Corinna was crushed and didn’t survive. Mac and Corinna have literally been together since they were in sixth grade and here he was, on the side of the road watching his wife die.
My original intent, while out here, was to see family and some Facebook friends that live out here. Once I was told about Mac, that went out the window. I found what store he worked at and went and visited him this morning. He didn’t look much different, a little worn, but what do you expect. We shook hands when I saw him in the store and it was a good shake. He held on, while repeating my name over and over. “Kevin Mittleman” he said a number of times before letting go. We went up to his office and sat and talked for a couple hours and it was good. We laughed about a lot of things, we laughed hard about a lot more and we only talked a little about Corinna. He simply asked me if I had heard what was going on in his life and I said yes. He spoke about how much life had been turned upside down on that day in August. He also said that life continues and he had been back to work for two months now. We got off the subject and we started laughing again. I don’t have access to a car tomorrow or we were going to go out to lunch but we exchanged numbers and I got his email address. Mac told me how wonderful it was seeing me today and as I left, I was comforted by that. I know he needed the laughs and I’m confident that there are few around that could have given him the type he got with me.
I’d like to apologize to the folks I was going to try to catch up with today but I think this took precedence. I’ve made a ton of lousy decisions in my life. I’ve let people down and haven’t been all I could be for a number of folks who’ve depended on me. Today, however, I did something good and as I sit here in a Starbucks writing this as tears slide down my face, I’ll take that feeling of doing something good and hold onto it for as long as I can.
Mac is a little more than nine years younger than I and is a much bigger guy. He could easily squash me with his index finger. The thing that made people think we’d get along was the way we talked and joked. Within a few hours of meeting him, we were literally crying from laughing so hard at the things we both found funny within the program we had just started. We would make fun of anything; ourselves included and just plain have a great time. It was always a chore going out to lunch with him because it would take so long for us to eat, as we would be laughing throughout. There was a time we were at lunch, spending an inordinate amount of time eating a simple meal, that as we got up to leave we were asked if we were professional comedians. This wasn’t uncommon. We had a lot of fun. There was a time when Mac had to send an email to Shelly, my ex, about some question we had. He simply signed it Kevin’s other life partner”. Like I said, we had a lot of fun.
Well, life went on, I left California, and Mac was managing whatever store the company would place him in while raising his three kids along with his wife.
Shelly called me a few days before I came out here and told me a story that none of us could possibly imagine. Mac was following his wife home last August 30’Th. Corinna had his daughter in her car and Mac had his son. As Mac was driving, he stood witness to his wife’s car being hit and pushed down into a ditch. Mac’s daughter ended up with a broken arm but Corinna was crushed and didn’t survive. Mac and Corinna have literally been together since they were in sixth grade and here he was, on the side of the road watching his wife die.
My original intent, while out here, was to see family and some Facebook friends that live out here. Once I was told about Mac, that went out the window. I found what store he worked at and went and visited him this morning. He didn’t look much different, a little worn, but what do you expect. We shook hands when I saw him in the store and it was a good shake. He held on, while repeating my name over and over. “Kevin Mittleman” he said a number of times before letting go. We went up to his office and sat and talked for a couple hours and it was good. We laughed about a lot of things, we laughed hard about a lot more and we only talked a little about Corinna. He simply asked me if I had heard what was going on in his life and I said yes. He spoke about how much life had been turned upside down on that day in August. He also said that life continues and he had been back to work for two months now. We got off the subject and we started laughing again. I don’t have access to a car tomorrow or we were going to go out to lunch but we exchanged numbers and I got his email address. Mac told me how wonderful it was seeing me today and as I left, I was comforted by that. I know he needed the laughs and I’m confident that there are few around that could have given him the type he got with me.
I’d like to apologize to the folks I was going to try to catch up with today but I think this took precedence. I’ve made a ton of lousy decisions in my life. I’ve let people down and haven’t been all I could be for a number of folks who’ve depended on me. Today, however, I did something good and as I sit here in a Starbucks writing this as tears slide down my face, I’ll take that feeling of doing something good and hold onto it for as long as I can.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Going To California
On a plane to L.A., going to see family and maybe some friends, if I have time. That also depends on whether I have access to a car. It’ll be nice if I do but, if not, I’ll live. I’m sort of at the mercy of those that I’m staying with. That’s not a bad thing, just saying.
We’re flying above the clouds right now and it’s really nice. I guess there’s a storm under us as I can see the darkness below. Up here though, it’s remarkably bright. It’s a solid layer of clouds below and it looks like you can just walk across them to our destination.
I was fortunate enough to have enough frequent flyer miles to allow myself to fly first class and it’s been a bit of an adventure. I brought some cupcakes from a friend of mines shop, (Just Baked) so family out west could enjoy them. As I sat in my seat, I asked the stewardess if she had a place in her little cubby up front to store them safely. She explained to me that she didn’t have a Galley yet and that maybe after serving breakfast, she could put them in the fridge. I let her know that it was no big deal and I thought that was that. Before we were even moving, she asked if I’d like something to drink. I said sure, and asked for a cup of coffee. Well, she explained that she still didn’t have a Galley and that it would be put on the plane in a matter of moments. Again, no big deal. It seemed to bother her a lot more than I.
The headphone jack at my seat wasn’t working and, though I didn’t care about it, I mentioned it to the Stewardess. This was after she’d already started the movie and she was very kind about it and tried to get it going. I told her it was no big deal but she made an announcement telling the rest of the plane that she was going to reboot the system as some folks were having difficulties with their system. She did the reboot, started the movie and still, for me, no go. She’s standing over me, pushing buttons and flicking switches, all to no avail. I told her I was fine, I had my IPOD and I truly was fine. Once again, she insisted on rebooting the system, interrupting the other passengers’ movie. I, once again, let her know that it really was no big deal but she thought it necessary. She really was doing her job well and she should be commended but, my station was the only one not working and I was listening to music and reading the paper.
Needless to say, it didn’t work and she decided that it just wasn’t worth holding up the movie for others. She came and started apologizing all over herself and I asked, as she was leaving, if this had anything to do with the lack of a Galley on the plane? The woman next to me, and I, laughed a little and we thought that was the end of it.
A few minutes later, the Captain came back and started to give me a complete lesson on how the Galley would have nothing to do with the headphones not working and that they were two completely different things. I couldn’t help myself and started laughing and let him know that it was just a throw away line that the Stewardess didn’t understand and I understood how things happen and I was fine.
A couple minutes later, he came back and gave me some apology card that allows me to pick a gift from United as a way to make things up to me. I WASN’T REALLY COMPLAINING. I didn’t care. Day one is only six or seven hours old and we haven’t even landed and the adventures have already begun. I hope I get to pick something cool.
We’re flying above the clouds right now and it’s really nice. I guess there’s a storm under us as I can see the darkness below. Up here though, it’s remarkably bright. It’s a solid layer of clouds below and it looks like you can just walk across them to our destination.
I was fortunate enough to have enough frequent flyer miles to allow myself to fly first class and it’s been a bit of an adventure. I brought some cupcakes from a friend of mines shop, (Just Baked) so family out west could enjoy them. As I sat in my seat, I asked the stewardess if she had a place in her little cubby up front to store them safely. She explained to me that she didn’t have a Galley yet and that maybe after serving breakfast, she could put them in the fridge. I let her know that it was no big deal and I thought that was that. Before we were even moving, she asked if I’d like something to drink. I said sure, and asked for a cup of coffee. Well, she explained that she still didn’t have a Galley and that it would be put on the plane in a matter of moments. Again, no big deal. It seemed to bother her a lot more than I.
The headphone jack at my seat wasn’t working and, though I didn’t care about it, I mentioned it to the Stewardess. This was after she’d already started the movie and she was very kind about it and tried to get it going. I told her it was no big deal but she made an announcement telling the rest of the plane that she was going to reboot the system as some folks were having difficulties with their system. She did the reboot, started the movie and still, for me, no go. She’s standing over me, pushing buttons and flicking switches, all to no avail. I told her I was fine, I had my IPOD and I truly was fine. Once again, she insisted on rebooting the system, interrupting the other passengers’ movie. I, once again, let her know that it really was no big deal but she thought it necessary. She really was doing her job well and she should be commended but, my station was the only one not working and I was listening to music and reading the paper.
Needless to say, it didn’t work and she decided that it just wasn’t worth holding up the movie for others. She came and started apologizing all over herself and I asked, as she was leaving, if this had anything to do with the lack of a Galley on the plane? The woman next to me, and I, laughed a little and we thought that was the end of it.
A few minutes later, the Captain came back and started to give me a complete lesson on how the Galley would have nothing to do with the headphones not working and that they were two completely different things. I couldn’t help myself and started laughing and let him know that it was just a throw away line that the Stewardess didn’t understand and I understood how things happen and I was fine.
A couple minutes later, he came back and gave me some apology card that allows me to pick a gift from United as a way to make things up to me. I WASN’T REALLY COMPLAINING. I didn’t care. Day one is only six or seven hours old and we haven’t even landed and the adventures have already begun. I hope I get to pick something cool.
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