Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A Drop In The Bucket

You notice the little things in life. The smallest changes in my everyday living seem so inconsequential yet, noticing them gives me pause as I think of the reasons for said changes. I notice that I’m only filling my gas tank only once every two weeks now that I’m working. When I was unemployed I would buy gas at least once a week. The obvious reason for the change is that I’m working six days a week, I don’t have time to do much driving and therefore, well, obviously I don’t need to buy gas as often as I used to.

Since I was a teenager I, like many others, have always had a coffee can or one of those large water bottles that I throw change into. I’d dig into it when I needed some gas in the car or, back when I was a smoker, a pack of cigarettes. When I moved to California I’d go to Tijuana and buy one of those ceramic “Piggy” Banks you could always find on the road. After I got married I remember Shelly and I bought one in the design of a Big Mac. The kids were very young and we decided to always empty our pockets into the “Mac” at the end of each day. After a number of months we gathered in the Living Room and cracked it open. It was quite the family event as we had told the Kids we’d get them a surprise with the money we had in the “Mac”. We ended up with about three hundred dollars and we took the kids to Disneyland and we all had a great time.

I currently have one of those water bottles that I spoke of earlier. I empty my pockets of any change and drop it into it on a daily basis and it can quickly amass a decent amount of cash that can be used for anything I may need in a pinch. While I was out of work it was quite the savior for a number of “emergencies”. After a while there wasn’t much left and it had stopped serving any purpose except to take up some space in my room.

Getting back to work I’ve noticed a change in the bottle. The level is going back in the right direction and it’s getting more silver into it again. When you are constantly digging into it, the silver is the first to leave the confines and eventually, all you have left is the copper color of pennies. I actually do what I can to not spend any of the change I gather during the day. I like to empty my pockets and drop it into the bottle when I get home. Like I said, it’s the little things in life that get noticed.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The C Word

I haven’t written much lately and that’s simply a case of my mind being in a decent place. I found work at a place that, so far, seems like something right up my alley. That’s a good thing. I like the type of work, the give and take with the people is something I’ve always enjoyed and have always been really good at. It’s been about a month now and I feel I’m getting into a comfort zone. That being said, that comfort zone has allowed other things into my head, some good, some not so good. I feel I am now getting the time to think about old things and allow new stuff to enter into this body of contemplation that’s been dormant for the last month or so.

Over the last number of months there seems to be a rash of cases of my friends or their family members being diagnosed with Cancer. They’ve been diagnosed with different types but the disease is just as devastating to their bodies, their minds and their entire circle of loved ones. My brother Steve was diagnosed with Cancer of the Liver almost two years ago and he was fortunate enough to have a transplant in a rather short space of time and he’s “cured”. I use the quotes there because I wonder if anyone is ever really cured. The games this insidious disease must play with ones mind is something I can only view as an observer and it’s so far reaching that I’ve felt like I’ve swung and missed at every pitch.

Since I’m more involved with the victims in these cases I’m able to see, on a daily basis, the effects Cancer has on an entire circle of people that surrounds the actual victim. I, along with many others, have seen instances of strength and courage normally reserved for World War II movies and have swelled with pride just watching these demonstrations both from a distance and up close. We’ve also all seen the damage done to this same circle of people mentioned above.

The more people I talk to about it, the more I realize that nobody is immune to this most evil of words I’ve ever heard or spoken. I, personally, currently know seven people that are either fighting Cancer or, just as sadly, have a family member dealing with it. I can’t do much else but think of these heroes every minute of the day and hope the pain they feel will soon go away. I post my status on Facebook on a frequent basis and have decided to honor these bravest of people by adding that number of friends that are facing this issue head on. I’m sure it’ll need updating and hopefully not just adding to the number. My little way of honoring them, if you know what I mean.

Cancer. What an ugly, ugly word. I can’t imagine anything decent being thought of about it. I’ve always been taught that names of things are capitalized when written out. I don’t think Cancer deserves that kind of respect. It’s a small little protest but I won’t use capital letters when writing it anymore. cancer, you don’t look so intimidating now.