It Just Isn't Me

I got a phone call from a guy I’ve known since I was a kid. Never been good friends but in no way enemies. He called to talk to me about my relationship with his wife. Seems he had it in his head that she and I were seeing each other. I think I’ve seen his wife three times since I moved back here, she’s a friend but we’re not very close. I tried to explain this to this guy and I’m not real sure if he believed me or not. I gotta tell ya Kids, I’m not sure if I care anymore.

I find it absolutely amazing how many times this has come up in my life. Here’s the beauty of it all, not only has it never happened, it never will. There are a few reasons why this is the case. The first being what I think should be obvious, it’s just plain wrong. I’m not putting myself on some kind of pedestal here but c’mon, give me some kind of credit here. To me, there are certain things you just don’t do and this pretty much tops the list.

Another reason you can know a situation like this would never involve me is simply because of how emotionally crippled I am when it comes to the whole idea of relationships. Do those that know me think it’s by choice that I don’t date? I would love nothing more than to be the kind of guy who can just walk up to someone and ask her out on a date. Unfortunately I’ve never been able to do that. Remember when you were a kid and you wanted to ask someone out? Remember how hard it was to get the courage to make that first step? Well, I’ve never been able to garner said courage. It’s nothing I’m proud of but facts are facts.

Any relationship I’ve ever had has been the direct result of the woman being the aggressor. Each of those said relationships has ended because of my lack of same. Again, nothing I’m happy to admit but it’s simply the way it is. I’d like to think that I wasn’t this wimp when it comes to this and I’m always hoping I’ll get better at it and I’ll keep working on it. Rest assured though, even if I was this Lance Romance kind of guy I wish I were, I would never infringe on someone else’s life like that.

Those that read the blog know that I’m incredibly open when it comes to me and my “issues”. Why would I admit this kind of fault in my personality if it weren’t the case? Seriously?