Daddy's Little Girl

I went to my oldest daughters wedding this past weekend. I thought I was doing pretty well, holding it together and all. It was a very emotional couple of days for me and I can only tell you that before coming out I would have given the world to have not gotten on the plane. I’m not sure anyone can understand this but I am just not comfortable seeing Shelly and I think we both feel that this was probably the last time we’ll try to do anything as a “family”.

Apart from that I probably had one of my proudest moments as a father. As you can see by the picture, Amanda looked great. She was so happy and really enjoyed herself. Before I came out I knew that I’d be walking her down the “aisle” as it were but it didn’t really hit me until the time came. She looked so beautiful as she came down the stairs to me and before she got all the way down we were joking about how she wasn’t going to cry and that she wasn’t that kind of bride. When she got to the bottom I told her how wonderful she looked and we hugged. At this point we both started tearing up and I promise you, I can’t think of any other place in the world I’d have rather been than holding my daughter on her wedding day.

Amanda and Blake both knew their biological father and neither has seen him in over 15 years. They both grew up with me as their father figure for better or worst and I’m not putting myself down here but I’ve often felt I could have done a much better job. That being said, neither of them had any choice in the matter.

Adam, Amanda’s new husband, also grew up in a broken home but both his biological and stepfather play an important role in his life. Before going on, I need to say, Adam is a great guy and Amanda couldn’t have done better. They have lived together for a couple years and have bought themselves a condo and done an awful lot of work making it their own. If any of you out there that don’t know them ever have the good fortune to, you’d be very proud.

The thing that really hit me at the wedding was the introductions. Being introduced around to Adam’s family I was presented as Amanda’s father. I didn’t think anything of it until introduced to Tony, Adam’s stepfather. He was introduced as his stepfather. It occurred to me that I have never in Amanda’s life been introduced that way.

Well after that hit me the chick in me came out and my eyes were leaking like a cheap faucet. I was so glad I had my sunglasses on. I don’t know if anyone else noticed. Adam’s mother approached me and told me at that time how things were going to go and where I was to meet Amanda to walk her. She said that Amanda was upstairs saying how she needed to make sure her “Dad” was at the bottom of the stairs to meet her.

Later in the evening when many had gone home we were standing around talking and I wanted to tell Amanda how much the introduction thing I mentioned before meant to me. She then said and did something that I will take to my grave as one of the most loving things anyone has ever said to me. She said that there’s that old thing about how girls always look for someone just like their father to marry and then she pointed at Adam and then me and just nodded her head. Needless to say I lost it again and so did she as we hugged.

At the end of the night as we were saying goodbye we told each other how much this evening meant to each other. As we hugged I told her that no matter how far away I happened to be in miles I would always be “right here” and to not ever forget it. Well Amanda, I’m at the airport right now and heading back to Michigan but take heed of those words. I’m the easiest guy in the world to find. After all, daddy’s right here.