Who'd A Thunk?

As with all good things in my life, I somehow find a way either through mine, or someone else’s doing, to get things all screwed up. Things have suddenly taken an unfriendly turn at work and it’s unlikely that I’ll be there much longer. There are numerous reasons but the bottom line is I’m not happy and neither is my new boss. I’ve started throwing out resumes and, hopefully, something will come up relatively quickly. I’m still working but I’m expecting things to reach the point of either staying or leaving any day now and you know what? I’m ok with it.

I’m not going to go into the whole story but suffice it to say that both myself, and my direct superior share the blame. I’m not going to say that I have been perfect and it’s his entire fault because that’s simply not true. What I will say is I will lose no sleep if I never see this man again. To say that we don’t see eye to eye is a major understatement.

That being said, as those who know me probably realize, that old urge to run like the wind is blasting into my head. It doesn’t even matter where I’d end up, just packing the car and going would do the trick. These are not new feelings, I’ve written before about the numerous moves around the country I’ve involved myself in. Something’s different this time though. Normally I’m set to go without a thought of what are both in front of me and what I’m leaving behind. This time, it’s different.

It’s different for a number of reasons but none more important than what I’ve found and written about in the past, it’s friends. It’s the people that have become, literally, my reason for being here in the first place. I can’t imagine my life without this new/old group of friends being a part of my daily interactions. Two years ago I could have packed up the car and headed to Montana, Florida or any other place in the country. Not now. I was talking to my sister about this whole thing the other day and she knew how badly I wanted to leave. She also knew that it wasn’t even a possibility though. She told me what I’ve written about number of times, I’m home.

For whatever reason, and it’s not one I would have ever believed, I have found a group of people that I can’t live without. For even stranger reasons, that I’ll never quite understand, they seem to like me an awful lot. I can’t describe to you the feelings that run through me just thinking about this. Never having been one to even like myself just a little, it’s quite overwhelming to think that there’s this group of folks that think rather highly of me. So no, I can’t even imagine leaving this comfort zone full of warmth that I’m still so unsure of how to deal with but hope will never go away.

So, I’m looking for another job and I’m limiting my search area. I have to. I don’t see myself ever leaving this area. I’ve always done quite well on my own. It’s easy for me to just work and go home and that’s what happens when I’m in a place that’s new. I don’t do well making new friends so the area remains new for as long as I’m there. Yes, I do quite well in that scenario. I, however, seem to flourish, socially, in this area of friends that I’ve placed myself in and I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels.

The song I have set up for this post right now is Mona Lisa’s And Mad Hatters by Elton John. I’m not a believer in anything more than I can see but there’s a line in the song that, if you are one of these friends I’m talking about, pertains directly to you. “I thank the lord there’s people out there like you”. and I do.