Give Me A Break Already

“I’m so tired,
I haven’t slept a wink.
I’m so tired,
My mind is on the blink.”

Another perfect evening last night. I fell asleep around 11:00 with Lucky on her bed in the corner of the room. At precisely 12:03 in the morning my eyes opened and they haven’t shut since. I even took an Ambien and I was never able to fall asleep again.

I can’t tell you how frustrating this is. It’s bad enough getting three or four hours sleep a night but to be completely shut out? Absolutely ridiculous. It’s not like I’ve got a lot on my mind, hell I’m pretty much a blank slate.

Everybody always has a solution to this problem of mine. Try this, try that, etc… It’s really nice that they care but if it’s out there, I’ve tried it. I’ve done the herbal stuff and the Melatonin and it hasn’t worked. I took Ambien last night for Pete’s sake and it didn’t work. I’ve been like this forever, or at least twenty years. Actually it started when I was married, don’t know if there’s some kind of connection, hmmm!

I have one of the stronger Ambien tablets left. I guess there are two different types and one’s supposed to be stronger than the other. I have one of the strong ones and a bunch of the weaker ones. Don’t even ask where I got them; let’s just say there are a few out there trying to help.
There are many nights where I’ll take a couple of PM cold tablets trying to get some sleep and the only time I ever really get a good knock out from them is if I’m truly sick. Even after a bee stings me and I take all that Benedryl, I still end up with just a few hours of shuteye.

I’ve come to the point where I try to make sure I fight myself to stay awake in my lounge chair watching television just to make sure I save any sleep I can get to when I’m supposed to.

It’s now Saturday morning and I took the strong Ambien. I slept for about seven hours and I feel great. I almost felt like crying when I woke up and saw how long I’d slept. My health benefits kick in at the end of the month and I really have to have a serious talk with the Dr. I choose. This can’t go on like it has. I have to be able to sleep. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.