Things Just Seem To Work Out

I’ve always had this, feeling I guess, that no matter what situation or life happenstance I’m in, things would just work out. It’s funny when I think about it. I mean, I don’t set myself up in these situations or anything, but even in my worst of times I think, ok, whatever happens, happens and I’ll still wake up in the morning and I’ll go on. I often wonder how much of an effect this has had on the direction I’ve taken throughout my now 50 years.

I think my lack of drive or ambition has probably been hit the hardest because of this “condition” or whatever it might be called. Not going to school never bothered me, simply because I just figured my life would work out. Not working hard to develop a real career, same thing. My marriage was kind of like the same thing too. I knew what I had to do to make it work, I just figured I didn’t have to worry about it cuz things would just work out. Even when I knew we were getting divorced, I just went along my merry way, knowing things were just going to work out.

I still, even though I find myself in places I know I shouldn’t be in, feel like it’s gonna be ok. I know when I’m down and hating everything around, I’m really not too worried about things. I mean, just because I’m down doesn’t mean I have this thought of impending doom. I’m not like that character in the old carton Gulliver’s Travels.

Lately, seeing what and where I am, I’m starting to think more and more about things. I know that this feeling I’ve carried forever can also be attributed to laziness. I just don’t want to work that hard to accomplish things. Even realizing that, I still figure I’ll be alright. The problem, to me at least, is that I’m now finding there are things in life I have to work for and I’m not sure I have the skill set to do them. It’s like this: I know that I can have the things I want so badly but in order to get there I have to turn a switch on the wall. The issue is the switch is very high up and I can’t find the ladder. I sometimes think the ladder has yet to be invented, like it’s waiting for me to invent it. The problem is, I don’t know how. Even with these thoughts, I know what I should do, that’s never been a question, I still have this feeling that it’ll all work out.