An Old Post Revisited

Another sleepless night spent beating myself up over things I’m sure others would find unimportant. I just can’t seem to turn my brain off on these occasions and when my head starts sifting through thoughts, well, it’s always the bad ones that stick. I sift through the thoughts and almost everyone begins with the words, “I wish”.

One of the first posts I ever put up on the blog was titled “I Wish”. I was just rereading it and it’s pretty amazing how encompassing it is. I thought I’d reprint it here with a few updates and omissions. This is what I do when I can’t sleep and I’m feeling the world is coming down all around me. Thanks for your indulgence:


I wish I didn't make fun of that girl named Jean in Mrs. Mitchell's class in third grade.

I wish I wasn't a fat kid growing up. I'm sure my self-confidence would have been much higher throughout my twenties after I lost all that weight.

I wish Lucky would go lay down when I tell her to.

I wish Lucky knew how much good she has done for me over the last few years.

I wish my wife had never asked me why I found something funny, just let me find it funny.

I wish I could relive the month of May 1984 every month.

I wish I hadn't turned down the opportunity to dance with people that mattered.
I wish I didn't listen to certain songs over and over again when all they do is make me cry.

I wish I could explain why certain songs mean so much to me.

I wish I were better at double jeopardy. I have single whipped.

I wish I wasn't so afraid to be touched.

I wish I didn't long to be touched so badly.

I wish I were as good a singer in public as I am in my car.

I wish the television show "Freaks and Geeks" lasted longer.

I wish I still worked at the Vons on Balboa and Genesee.

I wish I liked to drink alcohol.

I wish I were a better Father.

I wish I had been a better Husband.

I wish I knew how to talk to my son.

I wish I had a belief in a higher power, for all the wrong reasons.

I wish people could understand how I don't.

I wish people didn't take their public lives so seriously, lighten up, I find it hard enough to make it through my private life.

I wish I didn't like Carly Simon's "The Carter Family" so much.

I wish I wasn't such a chick.

I wish I had the courage to backpack through Europe when I was younger.

I wish I had the courage to do it now.

I wish I had seen "Dances With Wolves" on the big screen.

I wish they would still let you go to the gate at airports to sit and wait for your party to arrive just so I could see all those emotions that I adore.

I wish it didn't cost $550 to put new tires on my car.

I wish money did grow on trees.

I wish I did have stock in the electric company.

I wish public speakers would pronounce immediately correctly, it's not ahmediately.

I wish I didn't have so much time on my hands.

I wish I didn't wear a watch. (I don’t anymore)

I wish I owned a professional baseball team. (Just to see all the games for free).

I wish I could be my friend.

I wish I could figure out why I find that so difficult.