Exercise Schmexercise!

I hurt everywhere. Both physically and mentally. Every part of my body is in pain. From my toes all the way up to the few healthy hair follicles I have on my head. I have had an absolutely brutal day and I only added to it by doing something I have never liked to do.

I hate exercising. Yes, hate is such a strong word, but I really do. The idea of doing something to cause myself to get all sweaty and tired has never appealed to me. The other side of that are the obvious health benefits from exercising. I’m not getting any younger and have never really been in any kind of shape. As some of you may remember I was trying the yoga thing to sad but humorous results.

To begin with I had to work an overnight shift. I always get so down when I have to work overnight, I get no sleep the day before and find myself talking to myself the whole night while I’m working. The work is always very physical and I’ve never done well with heavy labor. So this morning when I got off work after 10 ½ hours I came home and tried to get some sleep. I woke after an hour and decided to take a drive. While driving I had this insane idea of trying to get in shape and maybe start taking care of myself. I, like the idiot I am, stopped and bought myself a bicycle. It’s a nice bike, I guess, like I’d know the difference.

Well I got home and watched a baseball game and then decided to use my new bike to go get the mail. Our mail boxes are a little over two miles from the house so I’d be taking a ride that would net me a little over four miles. Please understand, the weather in south Florida this time of year, is hot and humid. I mean really hot and humid. So I took this ride and after fighting off the urge to quit about half way to the mailboxes I got to my destination. Totally out of breath and sweating like crazy I got my mail and headed home.

Arriving home, feeling like death, my shirt looked like I was lactating. I jumped in the shower and thanked my stars for buying that shower message. I used it on my thighs and neck and felt well enough after the shower to actually talk myself into thinking that I felt good.

Well it’s now four hours later and I’m having a hard time getting off the bed. My legs feel like they’ve been hit by hammers and that feeling, as one might guess, makes it really hard to walk. I took Lucky out for a minute and had to make her wait for me in the lanai as I tried to get feeling back into my limbs. How, I ask, is this good for you? Don’t write to me and tell me my body needs to get used to it. The only thing my body needs to get used to is a message therapist. Preferably blond, with a Swedish accent.