I Don't Know, Let's See!

When I first went to the Dr. about my wrist I developed a pretty good relationship with the physicians assistant. She was the easiest one to make an appointment with and actually paid attention to the things I said. After seeing all the stuff going on in my life she asked me if I would be adverse to seeing someone to talk to about my impending move and everything else going on in my life. I figured I really had nothing to lose so accepted her recommendation. She gave me the names of a couple people and I chose one to see.

I went to see this woman and immediately felt comfortable and was able to, for lack of a better phrase, throw up everything that was happening in my life to her. What was supposed to be a one-time session has turned into something I actually look forward to and wish was happening everyday. I’ve only seen her three times and only have another three sessions scheduled before I move but I really feel this is something I need.

Anyway, about midway through my first meeting with her she asked if I’d ever been tested for Attention Deficit Disorder. I said I hadn’t and never really thought about it and we started talking about something else. A little later she said that I might want to look A.D.D. on the Internet, that I might find it interesting. Again, I thought nothing of it and forgot about it.

Earlier this week I went back to the Dr. for some follow up on the meds I’ve been taking and as we were talking she asked if I’d ever been tested for A.D.D. I laughed and told her that’s exactly what the Social Worker had asked. She said It’s something she’d like to test me for. As we spoke more about other things she said she thought I definitely seemed to have the disorder. By the end of the appointment she again asked me to look into it and that odds were that if I looked A.D.D. up on the Internet I’d see a picture of myself. We laughed a bit and I told her I would.

I’ve since looked up the symptoms of it and it’s kind of scary:


Adult Indicators 
Symptoms and problems are often unique and may vary in type, number and intensity from person to person. ADD is complex and no two individuals are exactly alike. 
Some indicators that can be suggestive of ADD:

Easily distracted; forgetful; daydreaming
Procrastination; inability to complete things
Disorganization; messiness; clutter
Difficulty with making decisions
Behavioral or verbal impulsiveness
Difficulty with expressing thoughts in speech or in writing
Significant periods of depression; low self-esteem
A sense of failure; not living up to one's potential
A sense of being different, unconventional
A sense of internal restlessness; constantly active
Difficulty with falling asleep or waking up alert
Very sensitive to being told to do something, teasing, criticism, rejection or anger
A sense that your mind is always active; thoughts jumping from one topic to the next
Easily bored; intense need for excitement
Difficulty with following rules
Very impatient; low frustration tolerance
Emotionally sensitive; easily upset, depressed, hurt or angered
Difficulty with personal or work relationships
Frequently late or rushed
Difficulty in estimating how much time something will take
Impulsive spending and money management problems
Personal or family history of substance abuse, depression or anxiety
Difficulty with reading comprehension or retention
Frequently changing jobs, interests or activities
Frequently losing or misplacing things
Perfectionistic tendencies
Strong need to control or have things your way

Of the 27 symptoms listed above, I can safely say that 24 of them fit me to a tea. Kinda interesting. I don’t have perfectionistic tendencies, difficulty with comprehension, I have no problem expressing myself either in written or spoken form. That’s it, three that don’t match me.

So what does one do with this now? Does it give me the right to just write off anything stupid I do as part of my “illness”? It’d be easy as hell if I don’t bother getting a real diagnosis and just go by what I read. It was pretty weird reading some of these things and relating so easily to them. You can find so much information on anything you want on the web. I found a site that had stories of adults that had been diagnosed with A.D.D., as I would be reading a number of them I literally saw myself as these people. It was kind of surreal. I mean, were they talking about me? Was I living inside those stories? I should probably take the next step and get officially tested. At my age I’ve really got nothing left to lose.