The Times Of Our Lives

When I was a kid my brother David and I had a connection, through my mother, to get free concert tickets to any concert at Cobo Arena, then, the major concert venue in the Detroit area. Suffice it to say, we took full advantage of the opportunity afforded us. There is no way in the world that my friends and I could count how many shows we saw from the press box at the arena.

We saw all the big acts of the 70’s. Literally, whoever came to town, we went. I have many great memories from the different concerts I saw back then but one in particular stands head and shoulders above the others. I know that when this story gets told to anyone that knows any of the involved parties there are laughs all around. I’m not quite sure how well this is going to translate to writing but I’ll give it a shot.

I got four seats for an Aerosmith show in December of 75. I invited three friends to go with me, David Fairbanks, Bob Siegel, and David Swimmer ages 15, 14 and 14 respectively. I was also 14. Remember the ages, it matters.

As the night of the show approached we found that getting a ride to the show was going to be quite a challenge so Fairbanks asked his mom if he could take their car. This wasn’t an unreasonable request. David used to drive all the time, long before he got his license. So, on the night of the show we all piled into David’s Impala and off we went.

Fairbanks had procured a bottle of Southern Comfort for the evening and I’m sure we had plenty of pot, we always did. I didn’t drink back then and David Swimmer didn’t either so the only drinkers were Fairbanks and Bob. Again, another point to remember. So after an uneventful drive down the Lodge (that’s the main freeway to downtown from the north suburbs) we got to the hall and were escorted to our private press box.

I can’t say for certain but I believe the warm up band was REO Speedwagon, a band that later became quite popular. The band had a couple hits but was in no way considered headliners. Well, the lights went down and the show started. Fairbanks and Bob started drinking their Southern Comfort and we all were smoking pot as REO played their set. I mentioned a couple songs by the band that I liked a lot and, as the band wasn’t very popular at the time, Bobby wanted me to point out the songs when they got played. The alcohol was working it’s magic on Bobby as he kept asking, at the beginning of each song, whether this was a song I had said I liked or not. I mean it, each song started with Bobby yelling over to me, “is this the one”?

Anyway, the concert went on and we all seemed to enjoy both bands. The alcohol was gone by the time the show ended and we all proceeded to pack up our things and head out the door of the press box. Now, for those of you that know Cobo you’ll remember that there were ramps to go up and down the different levels. Well, as we were heading down the ramps, heading to the exit, I remember turning around to check to see where everyone was. As I turned I saw Bobby on all fours looking like a lost puppy dog. He had fallen and when he looked up at me I clearly remember thinking that he was really drunk. He caught my eye and I could see that he wasn’t in good shape. I think it was Swimmer who helped him up and we all started walking slower and together so as to make sure we all got to the car safely. Oddly, Fairbanks was very quiet the whole way to the car.

When we got to the car, Fairbanks got in the drivers seat, me, behind him. Bobby got in the front passenger seat and Swimmer sat behind him. As soon as the car started one of the wildest, scariest, hilarious and most memorable nights of each of our lives began. Actually, I can’t really say that about Bobby, I truly can’t say how he could remember much of the evening from that point on.

As soon as Bob shut his door he started trying to roll down his window. Once he started, everything for the rest of the night turned into a slow motion movie for me and I’m sure Swimmer too. As Bob was trying to roll down his window, he had his head leaning against it and was trying to reach his mouth to the top of it, as he was needing to throw up. I can still see him stretching his lips in an upward motion trying to reach the top. He didn’t. As soon as he started throwing up Swimmer jumped into my lap screaming, “ahhh, he’s puking”. Bob never got the window down far enough and spent the entire trip home throwing up all over himself.

It was at this point that Swimmer and I realized that we had a much bigger problem on our hands. Fairbanks announced to us all that he couldn’t drive anymore, as he was really drunk. Mind you, this is after we were already on the freeway. He kept drifting out of his lane and Swimmer and I each held one of his arms from the back seat and guided him in a straight line while repeating the mantra, “stay in your lane”. Meanwhile Bob was still making a mess of both himself and the entire passenger side of the front seat.

We kept up this travesty until we hit eight-mile road when Fairbanks decided he’d had enough and pulled off the freeway. He pulled onto a side street and told us that he was done. Swimmer and I talked about it for a second and decided that since I was three weeks away from getting my permit I wouldn’t take the chance of being caught. Swimmer got out of the car, climbing over me because Bob was still spewing a constant stream of things I don’t even want to think about, and opened the driver’s side front door. He pushed Fairbanks over so he could get in and once he gave the push, Fairbanks started throwing up all over Bobby while finally landing his head on Bob’s lap.

Swimmer took over the driving and we needed to take Bobby home first. Bob fought his way out of his coma long enough to ask us to drive around a little because he was too drunk to go home. We told him that that wasn’t going to happen and Swimmer pulled onto his street. Bob told us to drop him off down his street but we pulled right up in front of his house. He was too messed up to get out on his own so Swimmer and I decided to help. We found the only place on his body that wasn’t covered in slime, the back of his shirt collar under his jacket, and pulled him out. He ended up in a snowdrift and Swimmer went up to his door and knocked and came out to the car and we left. Bobby was still in the snowdrift the last time we saw him that night.

I was the next to get dropped off and then Swimmer drove home, woke up his father, and had his father follow him to Fairbanks’ house to drop off both David and the car. Two things here, it was a school night and it was around 1:00 in the morning.

Mom woke me up at the normal time for school and told me that Fairbanks was on the phone. I got up and grabbed the phone and David asked me what time we got home. I told him and then he asked me, in all seriousness, “ Did Bobby die last night”? He remembered us pulling him out of the car and leaving him in the snow and he somehow thought that he died and we had decided to just dump the body. After telling him what really happened David told me he wasn’t going to school that day and that he’d see me later that night.

At school that day Swimmer and I found each other and recounted the whole story to everyone we saw. We laughed until we cried. I don’t think any of us really put into thought how much danger we were actually in.

I know Bob can’t really tell the story because there is no way he can remember it. I saw both David’s at the get together the other night and all three of us remember things the same way. I mentioned that I couldn’t see or talk about any of those three guys without thinking of that night. Swimmer said he can’t drive on the northbound Lodge without laughing about it and Fairbanks said he still laughs about it too.

I don’t know how well this story is going to translate to paper but know that I literally cry when telling it. Both David’s and I were talking the other night and out of nowhere I said that we three have something between us that nobody will ever understand. I said what we had between us was the greatest story ever told. And each immediately knew what I was talking about and agreed. This all took place 33 years ago this month and it still makes me laugh out loud just thinking about it. Yes, we could have been killed but we weren’t. We all survived and have a great laugh and cry whenever we think about it. Ahhh, good times.