It's All About The Boredom

nacho–noun, plural -chos. Mexican Cookery.
[Origin: 1965–70; < MexSp; ulterior

a snack or appetizer consisting of a small piece of tortilla topped with cheese, hot peppers, etc., and broiled.

I got up at 4:00 in the morning the other day to drive down to Detroit Metro to pick up my nephew who came in for his sisters wedding. Hell of a drive for someone but I figure, what the hell, I’m not doing anything anyways. It’s about an hour and a half from here but it’s one of those things that needed to get done for the wedding.

I left the house and drove up to the local “Speedway” gas station to get some coffee. I went in and while I was pouring my joe I noticed this big rack of chips in little black plastic dishes. Along with the rack was a sign that said “Nachos .99”. Next to that sign was an even bigger sign that said “Free Cheese and Chili”. This seemed odd to me. I mean, aren’t nachos, by definition, oh wait, read the definition above.

Well, I couldn’t let something like this go unchecked. I had to ask the guy behind the counter about this confusing conundrum. I mean, were the chips .99 or were they cheaper? How about the chili and cheese? Where do they fall into this equation and how much could I get away with while trying to make this clerks head explode?

So I fixed up my coffee and went to pay for it. I asked the guy how much the chips were and he told me .99. I asked how much nachos were. He said the same. I asked how much chili and cheese costs. He said they were free. I asked where the bowls were. That’s where I got him. He said they didn’t have bowls. I asked him how I was supposed to get some chili and cheese without a bowl?

He was stumped. All he needed to say was that the chili and cheese were for the chips and I would have been on my way. He truly was baffled about what to do next. Here was some guy asking questions about some free chili at 4:30 in the morning and he just had a look on his face that was pleading with me to leave. I was feeling a little feisty and just couldn’t let him off the hook that easily.

I just couldn’t help myself. I don’t know what it was but as soon as I saw the two signs something struck me. I know I shouldn’t have picked on the guy behind the counter but it made me laugh just thinking about the possibilities. I think the reaction I was expecting when I brought the whole subject up was for him to just laugh and get the joke. He didn’t and that made me want to see how far it could go.

I decided to ask if I could just take a coffee cup and fill it up. He asked me to hold on and he would check in back to see if there were any bowls in the back. I had to stop it right there. I couldn’t let this guy take it any further. I told him I was just screwing around and apologized. He laughed nervously and said he was totally confused and didn’t know what to do. I explained that I was just bored and wanted to play around. I don’t think he really understood the whole thing. He came out from behind the counter and looked below the counter where the chips and coffee were. I think he was still looking for a container to put the chili in.

I know this wasn’t a very nice thing to do but I was just trying to get a laugh. I can’t help it if the guy behind the counter got all flustered. It was 4:30 in the morning for Pete’s sake. What am I supposed to do, just let it go?