The Sun Comes Out

Those that live in warm climates really won’t understand what I’m saying here but, it’s 7:45 in the morning, about 60 degrees out and I’m on my balcony listening to the radio, reading a couple newspapers online and the greatest part of all, I’m wearing my flip flops. I guess not understanding is the wrong choice of words. Appreciate, yeah, that fits.

I’m kind of afraid to make this statement, being in Michigan and all, but I think the cold is finally gone. As I say that I half expect a sudden snowstorm to blanket my community. That’s the thing about living here, you never really know. I remember being in Junior High and High School and having snow days in mid April. Hell, I remember last July, when I first arrived here, it was 43 degrees on the first morning I was in the house.

My balcony faces directly east and I get a straight shot from the sun until about 11 every morning when it’s not cloudy. Today is a perfect day for being out here. There is no way I can adequately describe the feelin I get when the sun is on my face. The warmth does me so much good, it’s more than fantastic. I think blissful would be a good way of describing it. I could close my eyes right now and just feel complete content.

Being up here gives me a great view of the community I’m in. The first couple of phases of the development are just out in the distance and there is a row of houses across the street. Behind those houses is a pond that Lucky really wants to go into. She got there once when she got out and she was such a mess after, it was so disgusting. Anyway, the pond looks real nice from up here.

Since the front of the house faces east it goes to reason that the back gets the sun the rest of the day. I like the idea of the deck off the back door. I have my bbq and patio set on it and there is still plenty of room for me to sit out there to get some sun. I get it from about 1:00 in the afternoon until sunset back there. I tie Lucky’s leash to one of the posts and she goes and lies on the lawn while I stretch out in a lawn chair on the deck and catch the rays. I’m not sure how much the neighbors like it, I’m not a handsome man and when I take my shirt off back there I’m sure they have a hard time grilling up there dinner but this is still America and I’m not breaking any laws.

It’s really impressive how much the sun changes people. You see a lot more smiles on faces. Driving around the campus with the trees turning green and the streets full of students walking around is a real pleasant sight to see. It kind of gives you hope. Hope that the snow is gone and we’re in for a few months of warmth and sunshine. Up here spring, summer and the sun that comes with it are like friends you haven’t seen in a while.
Hello old friend, how have you been? I’ve missed you, now; do that voodoo that you do so very, very well.

All Or Nothing, Nothing In Between

I really think that old age is getting to me. Physically, it’s been showing for quite a while. Now, however, I’m starting to feel the effects mentally.

I don’t know exactly what you’d call it but my short-term memory is shot. For the last two or three weeks I can’t seem to remember anything that people tell me or show me at all. I mean it. It’s so embarrassing. I can’t seem to remember any plans I make and I constantly have the feeling that I’m missing something. Even when people ask me about future plans I have to hesitate because in the back of my mind I think I have made other commitments.

I take a pill everyday for heartburn. It’s a prescription. I even have one of those pill containers for each day of the week. I usually forget to fill it and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost track of whether I’ve taken the pill or not. The only way I can tell is when I’m awakened in the middle of the night with major heartburn like tonight. Oh, sure, I’ll take a pill now but it’s 1:30 in the morning and it takes an hour or so for the pill to work.

One suggestion I’ll surely get is to start writing things down. There is no way I could write down all the things I see or talk about every day. Besides, this came on so suddenly it really kind of scares me. I’ve always been one to remember everything. It’s always been a kind of source of pride. My memory has always been there for me to rely on and it’s not something I feel I can afford to lose, even partially.

I know that this could very easily be chalked up to getting older but I just don’t think that type of loss happens so fast. If it does, I hope it goes completely. I think the worst part of this is knowing. I have written in the past about mental illness and how horrible it must be if you know you suffer from it. Well, that’s my fear here. I don’t want to know about it. If I lose my memory at all, I want to lose all of it. I hate the way I’ve been feeling lately when I think I’m forgetting something. I literally feel like I’m going crazy. And this is the first time that’s ever bothered me.

In Search Of The Perfect Song

I once wrote to a friend of mine about how I am in a constant search for the perfect pop song. I guess the true meaning of “pop” is popular. I’ve never thought of it that way. I have a couple definitions of “pop”. The first is a song that you can’t help but tap your toe to. A song that sticks in your head. The type that people whistle when they’re walking down the street. They’re usually upbeat and when I was a kid they use to call the genre bubble gum music. Here, I’ll try to lay out an example: the song “Ob La Di Ob La Da, by “The Beatles” is “pop” while “19’th Nervous Breakdown” by “The Rolling Stones” isn’t. Both great songs, both out of the same era in music yet one is, I don’t know, peppier than the other. It’s lighter and there isn’t any hidden meaning in it. It’s just a song about life. The “Stones” song, on the other hand, goes into issues that are relevant to life during that time. The key being, a good “pop” song isn’t about serious issues. They’re about high school or teenage love or driving fast cars and things like that.

The other definition I have for “pop” is a really smart love song. What’s a really smart love song? I guess I’m talking about one that holds up over time. One that, every time you hear it, you have some sort of reaction. “Your Song” by Elton John, to me, is a really smart love song. It’s almost 40 years old and still, again to me, holds up remarkably well.

“ I may not always love you.
But long as there are stars above you.
You’ll never need to doubt it.
I’ll make you so sure about it.

God only knows what I’d be without you.

If you should ever leave me,
Though life would still go on, believe me.
The world could show nothing to me.
So what good would living do me?

God only knows what I’d be without you.”


Another, and I think the ultimate; example of this type of song is “God Only Knows” by “The Beach Boys”. Actually, I think this could be one of the top three or four greatest love songs ever written. Hell with that put it at the top. Just read the lyrics. Could you possibly find fault with anything said in those 10 lines? Add the music and harmonies and I just can’t see how the song doesn’t move you. Three simple verses, actually only two because one is repeated.

I just went to you-tube and punched the song up and while listening to it I noticed that there were tears in my eyes. Yes, one of the reasons is because of my wimpyness, but jeez folks, this song is pure genius. It’s so f’ing beautiful that it literally brings tears to my eyes. Close your eyes and listen to it. Really listen to it. Remember that this was written by a 24 year old kid (Brian Wilson) and the angelic voice singing it was only 20 (his brother Carl). I listen to the song and I get the same feeling in the pit of my stomach that I get when looking at the waters of the Caribbean. It actually aches.

My original intent when I started writing this piece was to talk about another of Brian Wilson songs and how it meshes both types of the “pop” song I spoke of at the top. As usually happens I got way off track. I ask your forgiveness and thank you for your indulgence. I’ll save that for another post. Just take a listen to “God Only Knows” and, I believe, you can see how I could get so far away from my original subject. It’s a masterpiece, pure and simple.

Just Taking A Stroll

I was thinking, how come people, in general, like to think about their past? I’m down in the Detroit area waiting for my buddy to get back to his house cuz we’re going to the Tiger game. While waiting for him I decided to drive around and visit the old “haunts” if you will.

I went to breakfast at your basic coffee shop that we used to go to quite a bit in my stoner days. I don’t even know the name of it now but back then it was called “The Clock”. It was a 24-hour joint about a ½ step down from a “Denny’s”. Decent breakfast. I remember one of the reasons we would go there was because I could smoke, and, I think we can all remember how cool it was to be able to smoke in public places and not have to worry about your parents finding out.
I then took the drive into Oak Park, where I lived from the age of 11 until I moved to San Diego. I drove down 10-mile road and saw this old radio tower off one of the side streets. I had to make the turn onto the street and parked just outside the gate that wasn’t there when I was a kid. Boy that tower struck a chord.

I remember climbing that tower so many times and seeing how high we could get. I was always the lowest but back then I didn’t even care. I don’t think any of us ever got caught. This had to be while I was in sixth or seventh grade and before I started smoking pot so drugs could in no way be blamed for our craziness.

I started the car again and drove a few blocks past a house where a girl used to live that would always have people over and we would all just hang out in their basement. I’m not sure if you could say we partied down there because their was never any drugs or alcohol involved but we really had fun down there. A few years ago I heard she died. I’ve tried looking her name up on the web but never seem to get a hit on her name. I feel sort of bad about that because she tried to get in contact with me a few times out in California and I ignored the calls. I think we all have those types of regrets. I think the goal is to not let the regret pile get too big. Something, I know, I will always work on.

I then went by Pepper Elementary School. I spent the last two weeks of fifth and all of sixth grade there. I think those were my glory days in school. There were three of us in sixth grade that were the big guns of the place. The best athletes and the most popular with consistent girlfriends throughout the year. Well, as much as you could have a girlfriend while in sixth grade. You know, big fish in the proverbial small pond.

When I got into junior high the pond was just way too big. I started getting real fat and was pretty much embarrassed about myself from that point until I got sick and lost all that weight during my senior year of high school. I think back on those days and the people that tried to reach inside my head and I remember ignoring their attempts at reaching out to me. I stuck to my own little circle of friends and never quite grew out of that. Anyway, back to the tour.

I then drove towards my junior high and on the way I went by my old house. It looks great. The neighborhood looks so much better than I remember. I drove around the area and went by the houses that my friends in the neighborhood lived in. it brought back a number of fond and not so fond memories. I ended up getting by the school and saw that it is no longer a school but more like the district headquarters. It looked fine, and the local stores around it were mostly different than I remember. What used to be a predominantly Jewish area is now mostly Arab and Black. The stores have different names except for the Coney Island place that was a regular feature of my youth. Next door to the restaurant is the place where the gas station was that I burned my eyes out at. It’s now a Tim Horton’s donut shop. I probably would have had a hard time frying the pupils there but knowing me, anything’s possible.

I then went over by the high school. On the way there I drove by what once was the bowling alley. Good thing it’s now a strip mall because I probably would have tried to roll a few lines and gotten injured again. My finger is still sore from my latest athletic pursuit up here. The high school looks just as it used to be. I then drove by another old friends old house and, since I’m still in touch with her, I gave her a call. I got her voice mail and left a message telling her that I was by her old house and mentioned that I was just taking a trip down memory lane before I went to the ball game. She called and left me a message while I was at the game and said she was in the old neighborhood just yesterday. Pretty cool.

I could do this kind of thing every day. Seeing the old haunts did me some good. It made me think of so many people and places that I haven’t thought about in years. It’s kind of cool because I recently got a message through classmates.com saying that my 30’Th high school reunion was just starting to get into the planning stages. 30 years, wow. I feel like I just left the area.

I ended the tour and went to the game. The Tigers lost. Didn’t matter, god I love baseball. I think I’ll come down again in a couple weeks and drive down to Trenton. I lived there from birth up until we moved to Oak Park. I’m sure there will be a number of things going through my head doing that too and I’m sure I’ll tell you all about that too.